“I Finally Bought Some Jordans:” Michael Arceneaux on Family, Debt and Grief

>>> WE TURN NOW TO AN INTIMATE EXPLORATION OF RACE AND CLASS IN AMERICA AS A BLACK WORKING CLASS GAY MAN, CULTURAL CRITIC MIKE ARCENEAUX HAS ENCOUNTERED MANY BARRIERS IN LIFE AND USES HUMOR TO HIGHLIGHT DIFFICULT BUT SOMETIMES IMPORTANT SUBJECTS.

NOW A NEW COLLECTION OF ESSAYS.

"I FINALLY BOUGHT SOME JORDANS."

REFLECTING ON HIS JOURNEY OVERCOMING SOCIETAL BARRIERS FROM DEBT TO HETERONORMATIVITY.

>> THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

>> REALLY HAPPY TO BE HERE.

>> "I FINALLY BOUGHT SOME JORDANS."

WHY JORDANS?

>> INITIALLY THE BOOK HAD A DIFFERENT TITLE.

I THOUGHT IN MY MIND, I DON'T WANT TO SAY A VICTORY LAP BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD BE IN A HAPPIER SPACE.

I TALK ABOUT THE PLAY DURING THE PANDEMIC.

I TALKED ABOUT A LOT OF GRIEF.

IN MY SECOND BOOK, A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE INTERVIEWING ME SAYING, ARE YOU STILL POOR?

I DIDN'T QUITE KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION.

THAT'S MY WAY OF SAYING ESSENTIALLY, I'M NOT EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT I'M MUCH FURTHER ALONG THAN WHERE I STARTED.

IN WHAT WAY CAN I SAY THAT?

LIKE I NEED TO BUY SOME Js.

I THINK IT SPEAKS TO THE SPIRIT OF THE BOOK.

ME TRYING TO FIND WHAT I CONSIDER LITTLE BRIGHT SPOTS.

>> YOU ARE KIND OF THE VOICE OF A LOT OF PEOPLE, I WOULD SAY, IN YOUR ESSAYS, YOUR CULTURAL CRITIQUE.

YOU ARTICULATE A LOT OF PEOPLE'S REALITIES.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR WRITING FOR PEOPLE WHO AREN'T FAMILIAR WITH IT?

>> I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.

WHEN I INITIALLY TRIED TO SELL MAY FIRST BOOK, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO GET PEOPLE SOME KIND OF POINT OF REFERENCE.

I SAID IT IS LIKE, I THINK I WRITE FROM A PERSPECTIVE THAT YOU DON'T USUALLY HEAR IT IN THE SPACE.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF BLACK WRITERS AND QUEER WRITERS, BUT I THINK BEING POOR FROM THE SOUTH, I THINK MY PERSPECTIVE IS OFTEN MISSING FROM THE CONVERSATION.

PARTICULARLY ABOUT A LOT OF THE TOPICS THAT I WERE ABOUT.

SO FOR ME I DO IN SOME WAYS TRY TO AT LEAST BRING PERSPECTIVES OF PEOPLE WHOSE VOICES I THINK AREN'T TYPICALLY HEARD.

THAT INCLUDES MY OWN.

I APPRECIATE THAT.

I DO LIKE TO LEND A VOICE.

>> IT SEEMS IN A WAY, YES, YOU'RE WRITING FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF WHO YOU ARE.

YOU ARE BLACK.

YOU ARE QUEER.

YOU ARE A MILLENNIAL.

BUT YOU'RE ALSO A PERSON WHO IS KIND OF LIKE, WHAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE HERE?

WHAT IS THIS REALLY ABOUT?

SO IN THAT SENSE, FOR THIS THIRD BOOK, IS THERE LIKE A THROUGH LINE WITH YOUR OTHER TWO BOOKS?

>> YES, IN TERMS FAMILY, THERE IS THE THROUGH LINE.

I WERE ABOUT LOVING YOUR PARENTS BUT SOMETIMES HAVING COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS.

PARTICULARLY DUE TO FAITH OR WHATEVER ISSUES THERE MIGHT BE.

I WRITE ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO MEET SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING AS BEST THEY CAN TO REACH OUT.

FOR ME THAT'S IN TERMS OF HEALING.

I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS FORESHADOWING THAT BUT I MAKE SURE I MAINTAIN CONTACT WITH BOTH MY PARENTS AND REALLY TRY TO ENGAGE HALF WAY.

LAST YEAR, FINISHING THE BOOK, AND REVISING IT, MY MOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER AND SHE DIED SIX MONTHS LATER.

AND SOME OF WHAT I WRITE ABOUT GOING BACK TO TEXAS AFTER I LEFT NEW YORK, NOT GOING BACK BUT TO BE PRESENT.

THAT'S SOMETHING I'M NEVER GOING TO GET BACK IN MY LIFE.

I THINK IN TERMS OF, I FINALLY BOUGHT SOME JORDANS, DEBT HAS DEFINED SO MUCH OF MY LIFE, AND THE SHAME THAT GOES WITH THAT.

EXPLICITLY BLACK POOR PEOPLE ARE TAUGHT NOT TO TREAT THEMSELVES AND TO HAVE SHAME.

GROWING UP IN THE '90s, I DIDN'T HAVE THE MEANS.

INSTEAD OF SPENDING MONEY ON JORDANS, YOU NEED TO DO THIS.

BUT YEAH.

I JUST REALLY WANT TO BE HONEST ABOUT MY LIFE AND TAKE THINGS THAT HAVE IMPACTED ME AND THE WORLD AROUND ME.

I WISH MORE PEOPLE LIKE ME WERE GIVEN THE SPACE TO DO THAT.

>> TO MAKE KIND OF A HARD PIVOT HERE, SO WHY DID TONI BRAXTON BLOCK YOU?

>> I'LL STILL TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

UNBLOCK ME.

HOW CAN AN ANGEL BREAK MY HEART?

>> I THINK IT IS A MISCOMMUNICATION.

I WAS ON TWITTER AS ONE USED TO BE.

I DON'T TWEET AS MUCH AS I USED TO.

SOME OF YOU UNDERSTAND WHY.

AND I THINK MAYBE SOME OF MY JOKES MIGHT HAVE NOT CURLED ALL THE WAY OVER.

LIKE WHEN I SAID THAT, I MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT.

HER SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER, OR TONI HERSELF DID NOT FEEL THAT WAY.

>> SHOULD I PROBABLY EXPLAIN THAT IS THE FIRST ESSAY IN YOUR LATEST COLLECTION AND IT'S TITLED, PLEASE UNBLOCK ME, TONI BRAXTON.

>> PLEASE UNBLOCK ME.

>> BUT THE ESSAY GOES GO ON TO DESCRIBE YOUR SOMETIMES FRAUGHT, SHALL WE SAY, INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER BLACK CELEBRITIES.

AND YOU GO TIME AFTER TIME THESE CELEBRITIES, YOU HAVE EXPRESSED YOURSELF ABOUT AND PERHAPS YOU DON'T APPRECIATE IT AS MANY AS YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT.

>> I WAS WORN YEARS AGO THAT SOME OF MY BITING AS DESCRIBED COMMENTARY MIGHT RUB SOME PEOPLE THE WRONG WAY.

AS ONE PERSON SAID IT, YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN ROOMS WITH THESE PEOPLE AND PROBABLY SOONER THAN YOU THINK.

YOU NEED TO TONE IT DOWN OR WATCH WHAT YOU SAY.

I ALWAYS HAD THAT IN MY MIND THAT PEOPLE CAN SEE ME ON THE INTERNET.

I GOT IT.

THAT WAS MY REALIZATION, OH, NO.

I'M NOT AS TONED DOWN AS I THINK.

EVEN IF I AM ALSO BEING MEASURED IN CRITICISM, WE LIVE NOW IN A CLIMATE WHERE CRITICISM IS VERY INCREASINGLY NOT WELL RECEIVED.

PARTICULARLY DIFFERENT HEADLINES, ALL THESE THINGS.

I'M ACKNOWLEDGING MY COMMENTARY, BUT IN SOME INSTANCES, PEOPLE THAT WANTED TO ADAPT MY BOOK.

THAT'S SO EXCITING.

CHANGE MY LIFE.

HELP ME GET OUT OF THE HOOD.

HELP ME GET SOME BRACES.

OH, WAIT.

I TALKED ABOUT YOU.

I WOULD LIKE TO IT MY CREDIT.

IF I'M GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY, I CAN TALK ABOUT IT MYSELF MOM RAISED ME RIGHT.

I'M MANNERABLE.

HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY I GET TO TELL TONI BRAXTON, I AM SORRY.

>> IS THIS EXCHANGE KIND OF IN A WAY, KIND OF UNLOCKS THE MICHAEL ARCENEAUX APPROACH, YOU CAN HAVE FUN WITH PEOPLE AND YOU DO KIND OF PLAY WITH PEOPLE A LITTLE BIT, BUT YOU GENERALLY DO HAVE KIND OF A DEEPER MESSAGE, EVEN WHEN YOU ARE HAVING FUN AND MESSING WITH PEOPLE?

I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK THAT MIGHT BE?

>> LOVE HOWARD, MOST DIVERSE PLACE I'VE EVER BEEN.

I NEVER MET BLACK PEOPLE THIS RICH WHO MIGHT HAVE ATTITUDES WHO GREW UP AMONG WHITE PEOPLE.

WHAT IS THAT LIKE?

WHEN I WENT TO NEW YORK AND WORKED IN MEDIA.

MEDIA ENTERTAINMENT IN GENERAL, MOST PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD THE SACRIFICES NECESSARY TO EXIST AND THRIVE WITHIN THOSE SPACES.

MOST PEOPLE ARE UPPER MIDDLE CLASS OR RICH, OR IF YOU'RE BLACK, WHAT WE CONSIDER MIDDLE CLASS, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH A PRIVILEGE MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE.

I WRITE ABOUT IT.

UNLESS YOU HAVE IT, IT IS HARD TO HAVE ACCESS TO MANY OF THESE SPACES.

>> GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF THAT.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

>> IF I DIDN'T TAKE OUT A SIX-FIGURE, I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE FUNDED IT DIFFERENTLY.

HAD I NOT TAKEN ONLY DOUBT TO GO TO HOWARD, I PROBABLY WOULD NOT BE SPEAKING TO YOU TODAY.

MY THROUGH LINE IS THAT I MET A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HELPED ME ALONG THE WAY THAT I OTHERWISE WOULDN'T HAVE MET.

MOST PEOPLE LIKE ME I FEEL LIKE DON'T HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK BACK.

IF I'M ABLE TO BE IN THESE SPACES, TO BE AROUND ALL THESE PEOPLE, AND MAYBE INFLUENCE THEM OR AT LEAST HUMANIZE WHAT THEY ASSUME ABOUT CERTAIN TYPES OF PEOPLE, THEN FOR ME I'VE DONE MY PART.

>> I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT A COUPLE OTHER CHAPTERS OF THE BOOK.

ONE OF THEM TITLED EMPTY SYMBOLS.

YOU EXPRESS FRUSTRATION AT THE DISILLUSION FELT BY MANY MILLENNIALS GETS FRAMED AS MISINFORMED.

RIGHT?

YOU WRITE, PEOPLE HAVE VERY REAL REASONS TO BE DISENCHANTED WITH THE VOTING PROCESS AND THEY GO FAR BEYOND.

THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

APATHY AND CYNICISM ARE NOT INNATE QUALITIES.

THEY ARE BY PRODUCTS OF WHAT PLACED THEM THERE.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE CONDITIONS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?

>> WELL, FOR ME, THERE ARE A LOT OF REASONS PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THE GOVERNMENT HAS FAILED THEM.

AND A LOT OF THAT WAS MY FRUSTRATION WITH THE ELECTION.

GOING INTO 2024, I KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE FALL, PARTICULARLY BLACK PEOPLE, PARTICULARLY YOUNG PEOPLE, WILL BE LECTURED TO AND TOLD, GET UP AND VOTE.

IF YOU DON'T VOTE,YOUR FAULT.

A LOT OF PEOPLE VOTED IN THE LAST TWO ELECTIONS AND WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I UNDERSTAND THE PROGRESS PRESIDENT BIDEN HAS MADE.

BUT VOTING RIGHTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TOP PRIORITY.

WAS THAT PASSED?

NO.

WAS MORE PRESSURE EXERTED ONLY AS THEY WERE FOR OTHER ISSUES?

NO.

WHO WILL GET BLAMED FOR THAT IF THEY HAVE TROUBLE GETTING TO THE POLLS WHEN THEY'RE BARELY MOTIVATED.

WAS ANYTHING DONE ABOUT POLICE REFORM?

THAT WAS THE LARGEST ISSUE IN THE HISTORY OF THE COUNTRY.

WHAT DID IT YIELD?

THE GEORGE FLOYD BILL WAS NOT PASSED.

IT LEFT AND DIED.

MORE BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEING SHOT AND HARASSED.

WHAT IS TO DO ABOUT THAT?

I UNDERSTAND THAT THE ECONOMY IS RELATIVELY BETTER COMPARED TO OTHER ISSUES.

AND THE INTEREST RATE HIKES.

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ALREADY STRUGGLING TO MAKE DUE.

INSTEAD OF ADDRESSING THOSE ISSUES, PEOPLE ARE TOLD, WELL, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY IT'S NOT WORSE.

PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO FEEL JUST VOTING A BLACK MAYOR IN WON'T DO THEM ANY GOOD.

WITH ALL DUE ALMOST, LOOK AT THE NEW YORK MAYOR.

A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM TO SEE MORE POLICE ON THE STREET.

TO SEE THE RETURN OF STOP AND FRISK AND LESS ACCESS TO LIBRARIES UNDER THE BUDGET CUTS.

THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT EXAMPLES I CAN THINK OF.

>> WHAT I THINK I HEAR YOU SAYING AS THE SECOND PART OF THIS, REPRESENTATION IS NOT ENOUGH.

REPRESENTATION IS NOT ENOUGH FROM THE STANDPOINT OF BARACK OBAMA OR PETE BUTTIGIEG WHO WOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST LGBTQ PRESIDENT.

>> JUST THE REPRESENTATION, HAVING SOMEONE THAT LOOKS LIKE MORE OF THE PUBLIC IS ENOUGH.

IT'S NOT.

YOU NEED ACTUAL POLICY THAT SPEAKS TO WORKING CLASS PEOPLE WHO ARE DROWNING UNDER THIS.

AND YOU NEED TO BE MORE FRANK AND DIRECT ABOUT WHEN THOSE NEEDS AREN'T BEING MET.

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE APATHETIC AND ARE TUNING OUT.

NOT EVERYBODY IS WRONG AND NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE BLAMED ON THE FAULT OF THE VOTER.

THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO DON'T PARTICIPATE IN THE PROCESS BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE IT DOESN'T SPEAK TO THEM.

AT WHAT POINT DO YOU CHANGE YOUR TONE TO REACH THEM OR DO YOU FEEL LIKE WAGGING YOUR FINGER TO DO SOMETHING.

AND ALSO IN TERMS OF REPRESENTATION, THE REPUBLICAN PARTY HAS JUST AS MANY IF NOT MORE VARIETY.

IT'S JUST THEY ALL SPEAK TO A VERY SPECIFIC IDEOLOGY.

SO THERE'S REPRESENTATION OVER THERE, TOO.

THAT'S WHY A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FINDING THEMSELVES BEING CONNED INTO RIGHT-WING IDEOLOGY BUT THEY DIRECTLY TARGET THEM.

I'M NOT THE FIRST TO MAKE THESE COMPLAINTS BUT I HOPE MORE PEOPLE ACTUALLY LISTEN.

WE COULD FIND OURSELVES MUCH DIFFERENT IN A YEAR.

WE SHOULD NOT BEAR THE BRUNT OF WHATEVER HAPPENS.

>> SO LET'S GO BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED, THE JORDANS.

WHICH ONES?

>> I BOUGHT THE JORDAN 13.

THEY WERE BLACK AND PURPLE.

I'M ACTUALLY, AS A GIFT TO MYSELF BECAUSE I JUST HAD A BIRTHDAY.

I'M FINALLY TRYING TO BUY THE 11s, THE ONCE THAT I COULDN'T GET AND I MENTION IN THE BOOK.

>> THOSE ARE FLY.

DIG IN A LITTLE MORE ABOUT WHY THAT IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE SHOES.

COULD YOU TALK ABOUT THAT?

WHAT DOES IT REPRESENT TO YOU?

>> I CAN REMEMBER BEING TEASED INITIALLY ABOUT SOME OF THE CLOTHES THAT I HAD OR WANTING CERTAIN THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE COULDN'T AFFORD.

I'M GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING MY MOM AND DAD GOT ME.

EVEN THEN I UNDERSTOOD IT.

WHEN I STARTED TO DRESS MYSELF AND I WAS WORKING, YOU FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT NOT BEING PRICED OUT OF THINGS.

AND I THINK A LOT OF LIFE, I FELT PRICED OUT OF IT.

AND THAT'S A REALLY HARD FEELING.

MY MOM NEVER WANTED ME TO BE MATERIALISTIC AND I UNDERSTAND THAT.

I DO THINK IN TERMS OF HOW CULTURE WORKS, HOW PART OF MY OWN BUSINESS WORKS.

HOW YOU PRESENT REALLY DOES MATTER.

YOU CAN BE PRICED OUT OF A LOT OF THINGS.

AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T INTERNALIZE IT, FOR SOME OF US, FOR ME, MY BOOKS ARE TRYING TO REMOVE THE PRESSURE ON MYSELF.

I CAN BE SO SELF-CRITICAL AND THAT'S NOT JUST FROM ME.

IT'S WHAT'S AROUND ME.

I TRY TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO NOT BE AS SILLY AS I AM.

A LOT OF THESE THINGS THAT WE FEEL SHAME OR GUILT ABOUT, IT'S SILLY.

I THINK WE SHOULD BE A LITTLE KINDER TO OURSELVES AND I GO MORE THE OUTSIDE NOISE.

>> THE OTHER THING YOU WRITE ABOUT, DEBT, WHAT AN ANCHOR IT CAN BE.

THE DIALOGUE, AM I ALLOWED TO HAVE THIS WHILE I HAVE THIS DEBT HANGING AROUND MY NECK?

DO YOU THINK YOU'VE FINALLY RELEASED YOURSELF.

>> I HAVE LET GO OF OTHER LOT OF WORK.

I UNDERSTAND BILLS ARE HIGH.

EVEN IN THE INSTANCE, I DON'T HAVE A HOUSE YET.

THAT'S NOT MY FAULT.

SOMETIMES I THINK, DO I EVEN WANT A HOUSE NOW, GIVEN IF I BUY IN A BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD, IT WILL BE UNDERWRITTEN, OR DEPENDING ON THE CITY, CLIMATE CHANGE MIGHT IMPACT IT.

I WILL PROBABLY CHANGE MY MIND.

THE WAY THINGS ARE SET, TRY TO TELL MY FRIENDS, NOT FRIENDS, BUT LEADERS, FRIENDS, SOME THINGS IN LIFE WERE NOT DESIGNED WITH YOU IN MIND.

SO YOU ARE PRESSURED TO FEEL YOU SHOULD MARRY BY A CERTAIN POINT BUT LOOK AT THE DATING POOL.

OR YOU SHOULD HAVE A HOUSE AT A CERTAIN AGE.

WELL, INTEREST RATES.

I'M TRYING, A LOT OF THESE THINGS ARE HARDER THAN THEY SHOULD BE.

WHY AM I HOLING ON TO THIS ARBITRARY STANDARD WHERE I'M NOT GIVEN THE TOOLS TO ACHIEVE THAT?

I KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GOOD DEBT.

PARTICULARLY NOT WITH STUDENT LOANS.

ULTIMATELY, PEOPLE ARE NOT BEING PAID ENOUGH TO KEEP UP WITH THE COST OF LIVING.

TUITION IS RISING.

IF YOU DOING TO SCHOOL, IF YOU DO IT TO A SERVICE OF YOURSELFERING WITH WON'T BE ABLE TO ENJOY THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR.

YOU HAVE TO EVALUATE.

I THINK LETTING GO OF THESE IDEAS, I SHOULD HAVE THIS OR THAT BY WHATEVER AGE OR WHATEVER METRIC.

WE SHOULD FREE OURSELVES MORE OF THAT UNTIL EVERYBODY IS PAID MORE.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING WITH US.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.

IT WAS A PLEASURE.