Former Soccer Player Speaks Out About Abuse

KAIYA MCCULLOUGH, FORMER PROFESSIONAL SOCCER PLAYER: It definitely — I like that word that you used, liberation. It was something that I was sitting on for a long time, and I wasn`t sure that I was ever going to talk about. But when the opportunity came up, and I had the opportunity to speak up, I did. And I`m — I can`t imagine doing anything different now. I truly feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And I`m just grateful that my own story has been able to help others come forward.

BIANNA GOLODRYGA: What`s really tragic about it, just at the age of 23, you have had to retire from a sport that you have loved and played for so many years. In fact, I want to read a line that you wrote in “The Washington Post” in an op-ed recently. And you wrote: “Everyone as a rookie when they first come into the National Women`s Soccer League. I was still one when the league`s toxic culture pushed me out.” You have accused your coach of making you hate soccer. What ultimately led you to make that career-ending decision?

MCCULLOUGH: I really think it was you know, the fact that I was waking up every day doing this work that I had loved my entire life and that had gotten me through so many hard times, my parents` divorce, a lot of personal trauma, and had always been a safe space for me. And I think when I realized that it wasn`t, and I was waking up every day and hoping I would get hurt at practice, so I wouldn`t have to go, or just dreading having to go on the field, and coming back and then sleeping for like eight hours just because I was so sad all the time, I think, for me, that was when I realized I needed to put my own happiness first, I needed to put my own mental health first.

GOLODRYGA: Can you give us some specifics as to what a day in the life was like during that year? I know that the coach, Richie Burke, would yell in your face and would drain any sort of adrenaline that you brought to the game and your confidence and, in fact, led to even some panic attacks.

MCCULLOUGH: Really, what would happen was, it felt like he would target people at practice, and no matter what they did, good or bad, it just wasn`t enough. And he would target them and yell at them and just kind of make it feel very personal. So, I mean, getting into specifics is hard. But it really was just this environment that was so toxic. And it was fearing that you were going to be next, and knowing that nobody was going to stand up for you because they were also scared that it was going to be them next.